Hello, I am also new here.
I apologize in advance if I have some grammatical errors , English is not my first language.
So, I have to give a bit of a back story on myself in order to clarify my situation as much as possible.
First of all , I am 25 y/o male , and I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was about 6.
In my childhood days, I was a burden on everyone, including my family.
Because of my ADHD I caused everyone trouble , and of course school was a nightmare.
Back then the only 2 options of treatment available were Ritalin or Concerta, after trying both I "responded" better to Ritalin and I stuck with it.
Thing is the side effects of the drug were too severe and they've caused me a lot of trouble.
There were:
making me sleepy so even if I was focused on studying I almost never paid attention because of my sleepiness.
They removed my appetite , people who take pills like Ritalin or Adderall probably know what I am talking about , I wouldn't eat all day (which also messed up with my ability to concentrate) and I would've ate a lot more in the evenings.
They made me super shy , I never took part in the classrooms because they would've lowered my confidence to 0 , that caused me to develop a stutter which accompanies me to this day.
So my school life were not great, because of that I never got any "studying" skills and of course I flunked most of my junior school and high school.
Fast forward to today, I am 25 now , studying is somewhat easier for me but to be honest only by a small margin.
I have issues with studying which I don't know how to overcome.
My issue is that I just don't want to do it.
Yes , am fighting with myself whenever I want to study.
Right now I am studying level 4 math (I need a level 4 to get accepted into the college that I want to study engendering in) , but studying causes me actual discomfort.
Lets say I want to study , immediately I would start to feel discomfort, I would start to feel like I REALLY DON'T WANT TO DO IT, I would do everything and anything to avoid it like casually opening up news sites or YouTube or checking my bank account or w/e.
Eventually enough time would pass that I would say to myself "well now I can't study because it's too late for it" and give up on it.
On days that I am actually studying it's because I force myself to, and that's the issue, I FORCE myself to do it I don't actually want to do it.
Even though I am seeing improvement in math, even though I can solve stuff easier and think about creative new ways to approach problems , even after all of that I always feel like I prefer to do something else.
I don't want to be this way anymore, I want to take care of my future and I want to actually want to study not to force myself to do it.
Also the "ritual" I need to do before each studying session is annoying my as well.
I need to :
Make sure I ate something so I can take Adderall.
Make sure I remove all of my computer accessories off my desk to make room for my notebooks and pens etc'.
Make sure to boot up brain.fm for "focus music".
Plug in my Headphones to the PC via Bluetooth (because they're also my everyday headphones)
Load up the studying website.
Try to study in 45 min intervals with 10 minute breaks for 4 hours.
I feel like my approach to studying is too messy and I want to simplify it.
Also , I feel a big part of this whole situation is because I am trying to do too many things at once.
I am "trying" to study math for 4 hours everyday, I'm also in the middle of learning how to play the piano so I need to devote for it an hour a day, I also need to find time to read my books so I need to devote them an hour a day (at least) , and before the quarantine I needed to devote my mornings to the gym.. And of course on top of all of that I am also a full time employee.
I feel so overwhelmed that it's killing me.
I just don't know how to do all of these things , I want to better myself.. I truly do , I just don't know how.
I have a really hard time studying , I think I have block
4 posts
• Page 1 of 1
by Candid » Sun Apr 19, 2020 10:57 am
ShlomiUz, I'm a lot like you, and I have no formal diagnosis. ADHD is one of the many 'new' diagnoses, a result of the fact that we have so many psychology hopefuls now and all of them have to write academic papers to get their qualifications.
So Ritalin somewhat improves things for you, but it has undesirable side-effects (all head drugs do) and doesn't seem to have improved things enough.
Maths study, piano lessons and other reading are not too much. I have a comparable list, and before we all went into lockdown I got so far as to make a timetable for it. I bet it's the 'other reading' that you actually feel good about and enjoy doing—that and surfing the net, a trap for the best of us.
How much to do want to be a well-read piano-playing engineer? If you want that enough, the motivation is already in place.
I understand that! Maths starting boggling me in high school, and I dropped it as soon as I could in favour of subjects that came easier to me. You have your sights on a college degree and a career in engineering. Is that your career choice, or someone else's?
This made me laugh, it's so familiar to me. Like you, I want the end result of a major project I've taken on, but I'll do just about anything rather than sit down and do it. I feel certain another member called Richard will reply here and recommend that you break things down into manageable chunks. I've had some small successes with that myself, but I don't know how you break study into chunks.
I know you hate it at the time, but do you feel good afterwards? You haven't wasted another day, you've done what you require of yourself, and I would expect that to be rewarding.
But that's before, isn't it? If you resist the temptation to do something else, and actually get on with it, isn't that its own reward? Can you connect your learning to the picture you have of yourself as a successful engineer?
Deferred gratification is a difficult concept for all of us. You've chosen a career you believe you'll enjoy and be good at, but it's a very long way in the future and there's a ton of increasingly difficult study ahead for you. I suppose a global pandemic adds to the feeling that you might not even make it that far. Throw piano lessons and other reading into the mix, and I'm not surprised you find it tough going.
What other reading do you do, ShlomiUz? Is it stuff you read for pleasure and interest, nothing to do with engineering or playing the piano? I ask because the things we choose to do, and regularly get lost in, are good indicators of which career might best suit us.
But do you want those things enough? Again, I believe Richard will have good advice, probably something about "chunking", which means you task yourself to study for 45 minutes then you reward yourself with one of your study rituals or something better.
I hope one day you'll understand that you're already good enough, exactly as you are. That would feel good, wouldn't it?
So Ritalin somewhat improves things for you, but it has undesirable side-effects (all head drugs do) and doesn't seem to have improved things enough.
Maths study, piano lessons and other reading are not too much. I have a comparable list, and before we all went into lockdown I got so far as to make a timetable for it. I bet it's the 'other reading' that you actually feel good about and enjoy doing—that and surfing the net, a trap for the best of us.
How much to do want to be a well-read piano-playing engineer? If you want that enough, the motivation is already in place.
My issue is that I just don't want to do it.
I understand that! Maths starting boggling me in high school, and I dropped it as soon as I could in favour of subjects that came easier to me. You have your sights on a college degree and a career in engineering. Is that your career choice, or someone else's?
Lets say I want to study , immediately I would start to feel discomfort, I would start to feel like I REALLY DON'T WANT TO DO IT, I would do everything and anything to avoid it like casually opening up news sites or YouTube or checking my bank account or w/e.
This made me laugh, it's so familiar to me. Like you, I want the end result of a major project I've taken on, but I'll do just about anything rather than sit down and do it. I feel certain another member called Richard will reply here and recommend that you break things down into manageable chunks. I've had some small successes with that myself, but I don't know how you break study into chunks.
On days that I am actually studying it's because I force myself to, and that's the issue, I FORCE myself to do it I don't actually want to do it.
I know you hate it at the time, but do you feel good afterwards? You haven't wasted another day, you've done what you require of yourself, and I would expect that to be rewarding.
I always feel like I prefer to do something else.
But that's before, isn't it? If you resist the temptation to do something else, and actually get on with it, isn't that its own reward? Can you connect your learning to the picture you have of yourself as a successful engineer?
Deferred gratification is a difficult concept for all of us. You've chosen a career you believe you'll enjoy and be good at, but it's a very long way in the future and there's a ton of increasingly difficult study ahead for you. I suppose a global pandemic adds to the feeling that you might not even make it that far. Throw piano lessons and other reading into the mix, and I'm not surprised you find it tough going.
What other reading do you do, ShlomiUz? Is it stuff you read for pleasure and interest, nothing to do with engineering or playing the piano? I ask because the things we choose to do, and regularly get lost in, are good indicators of which career might best suit us.
I want to actually want to study not to force myself to do it.
I feel like my approach to studying is too messy and I want to simplify it.
But do you want those things enough? Again, I believe Richard will have good advice, probably something about "chunking", which means you task yourself to study for 45 minutes then you reward yourself with one of your study rituals or something better.
I want to better myself.. I truly do , I just don't know how.
I hope one day you'll understand that you're already good enough, exactly as you are. That would feel good, wouldn't it?
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Candid - MVP
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