Beta Blockers?

Hello There!

Thank you for sharing with us your issues and challenges.

Now, the exercise you mentioned like "practise", "breathing technique" does work for some people.
If such method does not work for you, you can always use alternate ways that might fit's you.

In your post, sounds to me that you have started to set your own limiting beliefs about public speaking. I believe all the past "bad" experience has created the emotion of fear, nervousness and panic and so on.

Here are some of the facts that we need to understand when we do public speaking. These behaviour are totally fine, it is completely natural because it happens to almost everyone in the world!

1) Before we speaks, we are nervous, that is for sure because of the adrenaline kicks in.
2) Speaking in front of people is always a challenge for most people in the world, you are not alone.
3) During speaking time, you are shaking, afraid of making mistakes, that is totally fine too! (After all of us want to give our audience a good show isn't it?)
4) After presentation, we are still shaking and nervous, that is also very common phenomenon. (Because we need times to cool down after an adventurous or exciting experience.

I'm also a public speaker, and here are some of my mentor taught me and I would like to share some tips with you:

1) Create your grounding ritual before you go to speak - to mentally prepare yourself before you even on stage, 1 hour before, 30 min before whichever best suits you. (you can clap, rub your hands, self affirmations saying YES!, visualize how people will enjoy your talks, how they lean forward and listen to you etc)

2) Rehearse mentally and repeat-ally until you get it - this is common and not something new, but practise speaking or mentally rehearse your points, your presentation definitely helps to in grain your script into your sub-conscious mind. You will say it out even you don't have to purposely recall it.

3) Eye contact with your audience! - pause a while, connect with your audience, look them into their eyes, it do helps to relax and silent your "nervous mind" and you change your focus to them instead of yourself.

Hope this little suggestion may help you.

Cheers!

Thank you so much for replying Mr. Ang. It's comforting to know that there are people that like to help.

I've done the things you have talked about.

Right before my presentation, I'll listen to music and rub my hands on my knees, which calms me down and is the only thing that keeps me from running out of the room. But when I get up to present, all of the calmness I had goes away. I'm not scared of people judging or critiquing me, I'm only scared of my fear being seen. Also, I do care a great deal about my grades, so I'm well prepared when it comes knowing the information. It's all about the physical stuff that happens to me. My shaking hands and voice and red face.

I go to a great school, have great teachers and friends, but it's like I can't enjoy it anymore because this is making my life miserable. I never tell anyone about this fear unless I have to. I haven't even told my twin sister who is my best friend because I know she won't understand.

I have also talked to my pediatrician about this and all he says is that I need to see a therapist 3 times a week and then tries to tell me stories about how he has stage fright (which I know he doesn't).

I honestly don't want to have to take medication for this, but I feel like this is a fast and fairly simple way to get through my high school ,and especially college years, normally. Do you have any advice ion that?

I'm just not sure what to do anymore. Sorry I wrote such a long reply, it's just nice to get it off of my chest.

Thank you

Hello there,

I'm glad that I could help!

Sounds like the fear of public speaking has affected you quite a bit in your personal life.

Suggestion: Have you tried jumping up and down and making yourself pump up, clapping your hands, and raise both your hands high, grabbing a fist ? Maybe this will help. (That's what I do everytime before get on stage )

Anyhow, They are no short cuts to public speaking. I was a musician few years ago playing keyboard for people's wedding, exhibition, or fund raising activity.

I hands are cold, my feet is shaking and I keep focusing on not to make mistakes when I'm playing the songs, I was so afraid that others will hear my mistakes. This behaviour has been haunting me for several years until I slowly get used to be on the stage, and enjoy myself, and not really thinking about the next note that I'm about to play.

You mentioned that "'Im only scared of my fear being seen". how do you mean? Were you trying to looks confident or steady when you are on the stage in front of people?

And I have not encounter someone who actually needed to take medication or look for psychologist because of the fear of public speaking. Unless that issue has affected you so much in your personal life.

Here's another interesting fact. When a person is angry, in deep love, exciting or in a nervous state - they share the common physiology. (Their pupils expand, heart rate increases, red faces, sweating palm, shallow breathing...)
You can think about how to change the nervousness states to exciting states.

When I go youtube and type in "Overcoming fear of public speaking", there are lots of videos sharing about different ways to over come your fear. I strongly suggest you to check those video out.

Final Thoughts - Mind talks, body listen - whatever goes through your mind, it will reflects on your body language, the more you try to hide, the worse it gets.
- instead of hiding your fear, embrace it, acknowledge the fear and accept that you are afraid, and admit it. It's ok! Maybe people will respect you more because of your honesty and your courage of standing in front of the audience.

I believe in you and I know you can do it! Cheers!