Child confessor manifesting approach-avoidance in adulthood?

Have you encountered this sort of commitment fear in adults who were child confessors?

Poll ended at Sat Aug 27, 2011 2:30 pm

Yes
2
100%
No
0
No votes
I'm not sure
0
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Total votes : 2

Postby NYChypnotist » Tue Jun 28, 2011 2:30 pm

I had thought it was a fairly common syndrome, but I'm having trouble finding resources. Can you help?

For years I have been seeing clients (mostly male) who are desperate to get into a relationship, but inevitably feel, as soon as the object of their desire stops playing hard to get, that the object expects too much from them and retreats.

In taking inventory, in almost all cases, the man had been raised (because of divorce, widowhood, or workaholism) to be the parent's (usually the mother's) confessor or confidant.

The man feels a need for love, but like when the mother orverburdened him emotionally, the return of even normal attention and expectation makes him fear the same sort of overwhelming as when he was a boy.
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#1

Postby ellejean » Fri Jul 29, 2011 1:40 pm

I think that is the stupidest syndrome I ever heard of. Please don't take personally, not you. The syndrome is ridiculous in my opinion.
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#2

Postby suddentune » Mon Aug 15, 2011 11:31 pm

I must say some of the generalized(and I repeat generalized) knowledge I have about the focus of a male mind being very capable of zoning in to perfect something, and therefore the male mind cannot easily use all parts of the brain at the same time the way a woman would- ( generally- women can see things with a bit of the emotional. As brain pictures have shown, women are able and naturally do use many parts of the brain at the same time. It is normal for more parts of the brain to light up when posed a problem or just in normal function).
Now, with that being the basis, I believe that the syndrome that males exhibit is a normal behavior for the more technical and focused mind to naturally be setup to not be able to handle a lot of flip-flopping (like a fish) type of variables that a male- female relationship would pose on the adult; when the male as a child was overwhelmed with the necessity of being the mother's confidant. It is similar to myself being a female and finding men walking all over me and for some women that meant rape and being taught to manipulate and be what I call anti-social with no regard for others. Some girls , who are now women learned very young to use emotional ploys to get their way, since that is the only coping skill for being pushed around that they know from age 3 on. These guys you refer to are definitely suffering a real syndrome and it is definitely something borne from an emotional sort of pressure that was like abuse to them. Since now they do not have any burden that can hurt them or to be made to feel like the hooks of someone elses' baggage are buried into their psyche. In adulthood they do not want anything to feel like that again.
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