I'm losing weight. But I'm having trouble adjusting to the thought of it. I keep wanting to sabotage my success.
I was molested by my father and so that in mind, the idea of being skinny is like I feel nasty or something and that I'm going to get hurt. I also had an abusive relationship that ended six years ago and I was overweight as well. I hadn't dated that much, and added more weight in the process. I've tried dating since and the men that have come across my way I have become a master of running off. Men are going to look at me in a sexual nature and I'm afraid of that when I get to my goal weight of 136. I keep telling myself that I used to be skinny and was looked at that way by men. Of course I didn't dress sexy either. I've got 95lbs more to go. I know I need some counseling but I cant afford it.
Any advice? I feel vulnerable with the weight going. It's like its my 'blankie.' or something.. lol