Anxious in Love

Postby Melanie_elaine » Sun Jan 28, 2018 11:29 pm

My boyfriend (23) and I (22) have been together for 4 years now. I have had anxiety throughout the entire relationship and it has made our relationship challenging. When we first started dating up until about 2 years, he was the most kind, loving and supportive boyfriend ever. He went to appointments with me, stayed in the hospital with me, etc. but as our relationship continued things got harder. I am diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and it has created many doubts and insecurities within or relationship. Recently, I stopped taking my medication (which I have done before and it has not turned out well). At first I was fine, but the last two weeks have been none stop anxiety. I have questioned everything in our relationship. Everything he says or does and for the life of me am not able to let it go. For about two weeks, He was so patient and considerate of my situation. He would make me feel better and reassure me, but a couple of days ago, I had not let something go, (after having multiple problems already), he got upset and told me that I needed to stop because he was close to almost hating me. I understand his frustration and how hard this has been on him, but I can’t seem to get over the almost hating me part. I just wonder if any one else has gone through this in their relationship. I just don’t know if this is a normal reaction for someone who is overworked and tired of dealing with this 24/7 or if I need to find someone else to be with.
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#1

Postby quietvoice » Mon Jan 29, 2018 12:02 am

Melanie_elaine wrote:I have had anxiety throughout the entire relationship and it has made our relationship challenging.

[Etc. . . . on anxiety-related issues . . . ]

I just don’t know if this is a normal reaction for someone who is overworked and tired of dealing with this 24/7 or if I need to find someone else to be with.

I can guarantee you that it takes a strong person to stay taking care of someone who has any kind of health issue for the long term. All this focus upon the person who is not well, and little or no respite for the caretaker, can burn out their energies. If you think that you are not well, and you've used up one person, do you think it is right to go find someone else's energies to then use up?

Fix yourself. Or rather, find out what it is that you can do/not do to find your innate health. I'm going to point the way here . . . search on the Internet for something called the "three principles" of mind-thought-consciousness. These are the principles that once understood, can clue you in on how you create your psychological reality. You don't have to be anxious all the time. You can realize that it's all just "thought in the moment." You are covering up your innate health with a bunch of thinking, a bunch of thinking that you believe in and take seriously. You don't have to do that. Anyway, here's a couple of links to get started: Video: The Great Illusion - Syd Banks. Three Principles Global Community: webinar page

Also, look after your physical health. Take a solid food vacation. "You'll be in for a treat."
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#2

Postby Melanie_elaine » Mon Jan 29, 2018 12:55 am

Thank you for your reply. I need to focus on myself and I know that will help my relationship, but I’m just stuck because I feel like my boyfriend should never feel that way about me but on the other hand I understand why he does and I just don’t know where to go from here when it comes to he and I. He has no desire to apologize, he has made it clear several times that he can’t help the way he feels, and until I can stop asking him so many questions pertaining to his intentions and motives, etc he can’t stop feeling that way towards me.
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