Flirty Relationship with now Ex Therapist

What he did was unethical and immoral. Glad you reported the texts to someone. It is natural to have some attraction or feel close to a therapist. It is not professional and it is unkind for someone to take advantage of that. Do yourself a favour and move on

I appreciate your response. I am trying to move on but it is a lot harder than I thought it'd be, I'm obsessed. He blocked my number. I feel guilty because I came onto him and he's married but as a professional I think he should've handled it better

as a therapist (hypnotherapist) myself, I have to agree that what he did sounds very unorthodox and potentially exploitative.
Perhaps initially it was part of sharing and communicating within an honest therapeutic relationship, but he overstepped the line with communicating about how far it had started to affect him.
a therapist would actually open up to you and terminate therapy if this happened in a carefully planned process.

what happened between you was indeed unethical and confusing for you both. The male therapist in question has done something very harmful and shouldn't be practicing until he can handle his own moral / sexual feelings and emotions himself.

well done in informing his wife, how proactive!

I hope you in yourself know it's not your fault that this happened and you have had a tough time with this happening. Perhaps try to find another decent therapist if you are still wanting to work on some issues, but look after yourself either way. I hope this doesn't leave you feeling rubbish for too long, it shouldn't have happened in the first place

I agree that it was unethical of your therapist to act the way he did, and he should've drawn a clear line early on.
And I think it is fairly common for patients to be sexually attracted to their therapists. I cannot post links yet, google 'transference and countertransference'.
But who made the first approach?

This therapist was grossly unprofessional, and would have been in breach of any code of conduct that I've ever seen.

You could not help being sexually attracted to him, that was instinct.

You acted correctly in telling him, as this attraction would have impacted on therapy.

His response was correct in that he said the two of you could never have a sexual relationship. But after that he went badly wrong by giving you mixed messages, leaving you in a state of confusion and excessively aroused emotions and maybe even feeling you were responsible- which you weren't.

Therapists should only disclose stuff about themselves to clients if this is useful to the client. You're not supposed to have to worry about your therapist.

It was especially gross of him to refer to his masturbation fantasies- and very unwise for him to choose you as his private sex fantasy- this surely would have been distracting for him.

The "blowing hot and cold" which he indulged in- ie sending contradictory signals about can you/can't you have a sexual relationship- is calculated to create a strong emotional bond even when you know that he was wrong. "Treat 'em mean keep 'em keen," in other words. It's technically called a variable ratio reinforcement schedule.

As regards missing him, that will fade in time. As regards hating him, that will hopefully fade too- because he's not worth the energy of hating.

Good call getting rid of your boundary-less therapist. Now the next task is to integrate the experience so that your unconscious does not keep bugging you with unfinished transference business.

If you are willing to work with another therapist (with better boundaries) or even take time on your own, then your main task is to understand and process why you were so vulnerable to mistaking attention for sexual attraction. Obviously, he was giving you mixed messages and part of you was fascinated by his response. Look at the foundation of your need for attention: does it come from a sense of deprivation, a feeling of inadequacy, a wish to see yourself reflected in an authority figure's eyes? Is the love/hate mix a reflection of other relationships in your life?

Your unconscious keeps telling you there is something important to learn from this experience. Can you discover what it is? When you do, just like a recurring dream that is worked through, the transference will dissipate.