Ways to let go those who wronged you?

While they are living you have a chance for justice.

If they die of natural causes, it's like you have a receipt for merchandise that proved to be defective but the store is out of business.
The receipt is now worthless and so is the merchandise. You got screwed twice.

A street punk who assaulted me was let off by a judge who is/was almost certainly corrupt. I then signed up at a martial arts school and, two years in, I find that this punk was shot dead at work. So, the judge may not have done this kid any favor after all.
With this case, for me, the balance is pretty much even. But I would like to see this judge defrocked, at least.

I had a long running feud with an attorney, which gave me an ulcer.
Wanting to draw me onto his turf, he was extremely provocative but I learned his techniques and used them in defense.
I also uncovered acts of perversion on his part and eventually he was going to be charged with criminal activity (think "short eyes" or "diaper sniper") but, being a lawyer, he slipped out of their reach.
My ulcer is long gone, and fortunately for many people he died on the operating table way before his time.

Evolution has probably decided revenge is good, but the very thin veneer of civilization frowns on it.

For bad guys who are untouchable, perhaps the best countermove is ridicule. And, of course, if they strike you, now you have a case (at least in principle).

Forgiveness and acceptance are powerful, love dissolves fear, anger, jealousy, blame, guilt, tension, stress, sorrow, irritation, frustration, resentment, criticism and we can let go of these negative thought patterns and allow happiness to flow more easily.

This video can help you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGgnx4f ... db0vES_aXo

JuliusFawcett wrote:Forgiveness and acceptance are powerful, love dissolves fear, anger, jealousy, blame, guilt, tension, stress, sorrow, irritation, frustration, resentment, criticism and we can let go of these negative thought patterns and allow happiness to flow more easily.

Can you provide links, other than your own videos, that back up your assertion?

bro·mide/ˈbrōmīd/
noun
a compound of bromine with another element or group, especially a salt containing the anion Br– or an organic compound with bromine bonded to an alkyl radical.
a trite and unoriginal idea or remark, typically intended to soothe or placate.
a sedative preparation containing potassium bromide.
a reproduction or piece of typesetting on bromide paper.

plat·i·tude/ˈpladəˌt(y)o͞od/
noun
a remark or statement, especially one with a moral content, that has been used too often to be interesting or thoughtful.

pan·a·ce·a/ˌpanəˈsēə/
noun
a solution or remedy for all difficulties or diseases.

I suspect that the only proof that will catalyse a change in your opinion is your own personal experience, you could try practicing forgiveness, unconditional love and acceptance, I mean, what's the best that could happen?

In general:
Telling people what they want to hear is definitely a money machine.
I think you ultimately harm people by giving them false hope.
If they pay you for advice and it goes wrong they can sue and possibly win.

Beloved wrote:In general:
Telling people what they want to hear is definitely a money machine.
I think you ultimately harm people by giving them false hope.
If they pay you for advice and it goes wrong they can sue and possibly win.

One can sue for misdiagnosed thought prescriptions?

I can't see how something can go wrong with advice about changing one's attitude and thought patterns -- that is, wrong enough so that one can bring a non-frivolous lawsuit to court and win. Maybe you can provide an example of how that would work.

I guess it'd be on these grounds
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negligence

And if some woman gets the daylights beaten out of her by her abusive mate because the rose-colored glasses prescribed by Mr. Fawcett prevented her from "seeing things clearly", so to speak, someone maybe could make a case for
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endangerment

Am I the only one on this forum who thinks JF is full of ca-ca?

Beloved wrote:In general:
Telling people what they want to hear is definitely a money machine.
I think you ultimately harm people by giving them false hope.
If they pay you for advice and it goes wrong they can sue and possibly win.

I am safe, my advice is sound, it's all good

it sounds like a lot of your anger stems from feeling weak within the incidents where you were taken advantage of.

the idea to insult them & brutalize them is your idea of demonstrating strength & making them feel fear or perhaps pain.

but the thing is that in the end it is just another form of weakness. surrendering to your anger is just as weak as surrendering to your fear. & it makes you potentially even more susceptible to manipulation & abuse. better to aspire to be in control of your emotions & assertive instead of aggressive or submissive.

although i understand what you mean. i've been in the same places before when i feel someone "done me wrong"... & still go there from time to time.


a few things i've found in letting go of anger:

+ distance. in time & geography.

that makes it easier for the person/incident not to be on your mind. each time you go over & over perceived wrongs in your head, you reopen the wound yourself.


+ focus on positive things into your life.

similarly, this puts different things on your mind. & gives your mind different priorities. if you're spending all your time focusing on making your life better, then you're focusing on you. rather than focusing on them. this in a way is letting go of anger in a "strong" way. improving your own life can also make you feel stronger.

make sure that you do this in the right way. focus on your dreams because you want to be happy, fulfilled, etc. not just to prove a point to others.


+ pragmatism

i think i can be quite pragmatic. i realize that thinking about the person who "done me wrong" is just riling me up. i realize that it's having a negative effect on my life & holding me back. so i just choose to forgive the person & let it go because pragmatically i can see that it's the path to take that benefits me the most.

so kindof never mind about what is strong, what is fair, what is weak. just what gives the best results. & for me being happy is a better result than being angry.

JuliusFawcett wrote:I am safe, my advice is sound, it's all good

What does one expect you to say? See my post on information content.

Unfortunately, your saccharine posts activate my gag reflex after a very few seconds. It could be my problem but I think that unlikely.

Let's say you do no one harm and even have somewhat of a cult following. It's probably none of my business but as a whistleblower I, or course, feel that it is.

Let's say you are a total fraud. I suppose, again, I should be spending my energy elsewhere. I am not the world's policeman.

Let's say the nearest analogy to you is one of those televangelists. See above. Who am I to rain on the parade of your followers?

There. I feel better already. Should I send you a check?

You are the only thinker in your mind, you choose your response to stimuli, you operated your gag reflex yourself

Trust your instinct as to what to do next, this is my advice, you can have it for free, is this different advice from a televangelist?

I once heard a expert psychologist say that "revenge is wishing you control the past with your anger."
Sounds like you still want revenge.
From my experience growing up with a difficult family and step mother.
I say, you have to understand why that person did that to you.
People that have been hurt tend to hurt other people.
Now you are probably thinking of hurting this person that has hurt you.
The circle wont end. You have to be able to see the long term effects.
If you allow it to continue you wont be happy.
SO.
Its easy to say let it go but harder to do.
Neither is just simply forgiving someone.
One thing is for sure.
It is much wiser to choose happyness over revenge.
Choose to be happy and chose to find love.
By wanting revenge you are choosing to suffer

Two great revenge movies
http://www.amazon.com/Seraphim-Falls-Pi ... B000NOIVT0
and
One-eyed Jacks

See the costs and benefits firsthand of getting revenge and the likelihood that you will get revenge, and decide for yourself.

That survivalist in PA is one recent example.