An Introduction And Guide To Asperger Disorder

My system I used to defeat my dyscalculia used a lot of decimal numbers and percentages. A lot of ratios. I will now attempt to use a digit such as 0.0006785732 in a sum and then recall it. That is, not writing them down. This intends to test and develop memory. In music I attempted to sound out chords on piano by ear alone. You hear the song and then seek the chords by sounding the notes in your head as you hit various keys. All of these methods test processing mechanisms. And they help all people who struggle or may want to boost their potential.
In all cases with Aspergers it's easier to do something your own way than follow a system or lesson.

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:In my world, I leave for half a day. Still don’t get it? I book a hotel and leave for a couple of days, maybe a weekend. Still don’t get it? I leave for a week.

I've left several times. The longest was for more than four years, during which time he yielded some ground.

You have a valid, legitimate issue, but the limits of your “fight” is verbal admonishment. It isn’t sufficient.

I agree! My preference would be to live in my town and have him visit by arrangement. We had that for more than a year before we got married, but a lot's changed since then. I no longer have an income, a fact that galls me to my bones, so we're stuck with each other.

The way the world's going now I'm throughly demotivated, but I appreciate your creative problem-solving approach.

Candid wrote: I no longer have an income, a fact that galls me to my bones, so we're stuck with each other.

I thought about that...the "lifeboat" scenario.

What happens when two people are stuck with each other, confined to a small space? Think about cellmates. How would you handle a cellmate that would not leave you alone? Or what of two people in the same hospital room and you are bed ridden?

Personally, if I was ever in such a situation, I can only imagine the mental gymnastics to get over that hurdle. I'm pretty good at stoicism, but I have my limits.

It would feel "disempowering". I'm fairly pragmatic, so at some level I would accept my fate. I think acceptance has a lot of power. Once you realize you are "helpless"...that a situation is outside of your control, that can provide some comfort. At least for me it does. It can be a weird sort of relief.

But I think you are not necessarily in such a "lifeboat" situation. And that might be, at least in part, what is causing you to feel disempowered. You have options. They might not be good options...they might not be options you wish to entertain....but they are options. You could make some sacrifices, you could choose a different path, but even entertaining such ideas is exhausting. It is easier to maintain the status quo, to stay where you are and put up with having no control than to risk finding yourself in a "worse" situation.

The cause of autism? It's a complex question so far unsolved. Sometimes it can be exogenic and "caused" by some trauma or illness. Or, as in the case of Schizophrenia, it's endogenic. The autism is viewed as a symptom of an ongoing physiological process of illness, manifested psychologically and biologically in the glands, mucous membranes and brain.
Autism can have purely psychological cause or result from encephallitis or microbiotic infection.
I tend to frown upon the neurodiversity context of the autism issue, due to the increased lack of scientific approach. So many of the neurodiversity representatives never read Asperger's essays, which strikes me as problematic.

Yes, the income issue these days must be affecting a lot of people. I heard about the floods in Germany and Belgium and it seems climate is altering. This makes sense to me somehow as the planet once had a jurassic climate. Now we have had atom bomb tests and huge industrial emission. You wonder if we are now seeing the limits of the good old days when focus on industry hadn't yet had any.possible environment effect. Whatever the case for Germany it has been pretty awful.

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:Personally, if I was ever in such a situation, I can only imagine the mental gymnastics to get over that hurdle.

I drug myself in order to sleep.

You have options. They might not be good options...they might not be options you wish to entertain....but they are options.

The only one open to me now, given that travel without a "vaccine" passport is impossible, would be living on the street. And you're right, living with my husband looks better than that.

It is easier to maintain the status quo, to stay where you are and put up with having no control than to risk finding yourself in a "worse" situation.

Certainly. Having had as many addresses as I've had years on earth, I'm fully aware of frying pans and fires!

Candid wrote:The only one open to me now... would be living on the street.

I see other options.

You have a potential "sanctuary" in your office. Your complaint, is that your husband does not respect this boundary. You close the door, but he comes knocking.

This is where I would focus my efforts and, to the extent necessary, options related to "violence". Me? I would go scorched earth over my sanctuary.

I think this is where we differ. I don't think you are willing to go scorched earth. You submit. The limit of your violence is verbal, and if that doesn't work, you surrender and retreat into drugging yourself.

And I'm not talking physical violence against another person. As stated previously, I would leave before reaching that level of violence. But, if I'm trapped, if I'm on a "lifeboat" and cornered, you better damn well expect that I will throw all of the food overboard, killing both of us if you don't leave me the f#$% alone. That is a form of violence. That is scorched earth.

Leave me in my sanctuary, don't knock on my door, or you will wake to find a hole in the lifeboat. I don't need to be physically stronger than you. I only need to be more committed.

Candid could deliver a full roundhouse kick a la Chuck Norris. Bad joke!

davidbanner99@ wrote:Candid could deliver a full roundhouse kick a la Chuck Norris. Bad joke!

You hear that "violence" is never the answer. Well, that's 100%, absolute, certified, bullsh@#! Of course violence is sometimes the answer. If you are defending your life or the life of someone you love, you better damn well be prepared to commit violence. You better be capable of being an absolute monster.

And the idea that drugging oneself is a solution? That's not defending your life. To put yourself in a drug induced state, that's "living"? I don't think so. I think that is simply surrendering your life. It is submission, it is giving up as to avoid the conflict. It is a way to avoid the violence.

Yes, a "full roundhouse" is a bad joke. Physical violence against another person, in my opinion, is an absolute last resort that is used only under the narrowest circumstances. Candid has other options. And those options do not require physical violence.

I detect Candid is one of those people who were left shocked by the Covid stupidity. I use the term "stupidity", to express my attitude to the current feeble-mindedness amongst the population. I suspect, as with many people, the current state of affairs led to employment complications and relationship strains. For example, I found a mixed, married couple I knew are now living apart due to passport restrictions - she went home to Spain.
To cheer Candid up, I must say the protests each month in London are now pulling in over a million people - all like us. So many people I talk to have altered their view. Even in Russia, opposition is widespread. My take is anger over job losses and vaccine deaths is sure to gather momentum. A BBC presenter only recently died of clotting.
Put simply, my guess is this is what put strain on this relationship. I always say, however, autism affected people do better with neurotypical partners. They need a constant and steady feedback. I recently made a female friend who has neurological issues to and we are both like yo yos. We chat but don't hear each other out. We both try to dominate the topic on hand.

davidbanner99@ wrote:I suspect, as with many people, the current state of affairs led to employment complications and relationship strains. For example, I found a mixed, married couple I knew are now living apart due to passport restrictions - she went home to Spain.

It definitely hasn't helped, although in our case it's too much togetherness that's causing distress. That's me, not him. He's fine with it, the big bully.

To cheer Candid up, I must say the protests each month in London are now pulling in over a million people - all like us.

Yes, and the strangest thing is that mainstream media are oblivious to it. I'm not surprised, seeing as police were knocking people about to keep them safe at Monday's protest. Monty Python never dreamed up such insanity.

So many people I talk to have altered their view.

I'm glad you're seeing that. I do know those of us with a few clues as to what's happening won't change our minds. Once you've seen it you can't unsee it.

My take is anger over job losses and vaccine deaths is sure to gather momentum.

I certainly hope so! We're well overdue a return to sanity, and to see all the perpetrators of the coronahoax held accountable for murder.

I always say, however, autism affected people do better with neurotypical partners. They need a constant and steady feedback.

Bloodsuckers, the lot of you. But this explains why the only time I get to myself are when He's out.

[quoye]I recently made a female friend who has neurological issues to and we are both like yo yos. We chat but don't hear each other out. We both try to dominate the topic on hand.[/quote]
My husband to the life, so in effect I'm unpaid counsellor while never being heard myself. That's the chief problem of restrictions for me: I'm deprived of real conversation.

When I feel better, I will produce the diagnostic guide. However, beware. True Asperger Disorder I feel is practically rare. So many people I meet who tell me they have Asperger's don't strike me as manifesting that pathology. Similar conditions could be neurotic personality, encephalitis or Schizothymia. Many doctors stuck with the view Kanner Autism is likewise different to Asperger Disorder.
The essence of Asperger's Pathology is broken contact with other human beings in the emotional, sensory and instinctive levels. Little ability to feel intuitively or react appropriately. The only way this type of individual can progress is through intellectual awareness. You have to explain the problem whatever it is. For example, it took me years to finally realise my emotional intelligence and empathy mechanisms were semi-functional.
I had no idea why I never fitted in. In fact, as stated, I think my own issues go beyond simply Asperger Pathology, since my psychological history shows development and changes in the symptoms. Aspergers per se tends to be constant and stable and minus distortion of perception.
Diagnosing hubby needs to involve school and family history, obsessions, focus on routine, empathy, motor impairment, meltdowns, mimicry and degree of social capability.
I have known people with different types of autism pathologies.

I say "feel better" in the sense this heat has been reducing me to relic of my normal self. Every time I attempt to study, I pass out. No energy and dehydrated.
I guess it doesn't take an Einstein to figure out the so-called killer virus is an excuse to try and slow down catastrophic weather damage. Germany has been flooded with hundreds fleeing homes. The latest is hail stones that smash car windows.
You wonder why not just be honest and tell people the truth. If we need to slow down emissions to avoid disaster, people can surely react to that responsibly. However, being patronised by nonsensical accounts of killer viruses will alienate trust. Most people tell me they've not seen a single death or corpse to back up the alarmism.
Covid won't touch me but this heat is making me into a shuffling shadow.

davidbanner99@ wrote: So many people I meet who tell me they have Asperger's don't strike me as manifesting that pathology. Similar conditions could be neurotic personality, encephalitis or Schizothymia. Many doctors stuck with the view Kanner Autism is likewise different to Asperger Disorder.

I get it. There's a diagnosis for everyone on an unbroken continuum. Planet Earth is just one big revolving loony bin.

The essence of Asperger's Pathology is broken contact with other human beings in the emotional, sensory and instinctive levels.

My husband to the life! It was the Rain Man qualities that drew me to him in the first place. That's because I myself have Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder which for some reason leads me to consort with aliens. I go cross-eyed and crazy with "normal" conversation.

Husband has intermittent deafness. He had to learn attending behaviours and can mimic them for just so long before he comes out with a completely inappropriate reply. Emotion is running especially high chez nous this week because my mother was euthanased on the other side of the world on Monday, and today I'm attending the funeral of a dear old man, very much loved by all in our village. Meanwhile one of husband's remote relatives has come to town from Up North (carrying god knows what with her) so he's busy discussing genealogy, contacting other relatives, and ferrying her around. In all our years of married life I don't think we've ever been so individually preoccupied.

The only way this type of individual can progress is through intellectual awareness. You have to explain the problem whatever it is. For example, it took me years to finally realise my emotional intelligence and empathy mechanisms were semi-functional.

Thanks for saying that. It shows your (and my husband's) side of the story very clearly. This https://www.theneurotypical.com/index.html shows mine. It's unbelievably painful and very often rage-provoking—but then my own pathology sets me up for mood lability anyway.

I had no idea why I never fitted in.

My husband is the same. I'd love to introduce you two to each other and see what happens.

When He and I got together, my closest woman friend said it was like there were two misfits who could only be with each other, presumably because no one else would put up with either of us. My friend also did her best, on the day of our wedding, to talk me out of it.

Diagnosing hubby needs to involve school and family history, obsessions, focus on routine, empathy, motor impairment, meltdowns, mimicry and degree of social capability.
I have known people with different types of autism pathologies.

School: extremely disruptive in class, told after every maths exam that he needed to show his working-out, which of course had been some instantaneous thing for him. Very much self-taught, with what looks to me like an encyclopaedic knowledge of history, geography, astronomy... Extraordinary organisational ability, seeing immediately how complex situations can best be resolved.
Family: Chiefly a bunch of average neurotypicals, but recent developments have unearthed two cousins, male twins, who were born out of wedlock and fostered together. That's who the relative from Up North has come to visit; she's their younger and of course legitimate sister. We met one of the twins yesterday, the one who restores antique clocks and classic cars. I found him much more interesting than her. He's clearly doing better than any of us but I think he was bored, and he left first.
Obsessions: Okay, I just asked him: If you had to name your three chief interests, what would they be? His answer surprised me.
1) Spirituality. He has a whole shelf of chiefly Eastern mysticism books, and he's not a reader at all. It's I who occasionally pick up a book from there, and usually put it back soon afterwards, There's an expensive three-volume set of the Bhagavad Gita he said he hoped I would read. No thanks!
But I can see ethics informing his life, what he actually does. He's the most caring person I know. He takes responsibility for his mother, his disabled cousin—and me, doing all our shopping, organising our appointments and taking us to them. (The effect of this has been to make me fat and lazy.) When I fall apart (very often because he's provoked me) he's right there.
2) Digital assets in the context of the WEF and the Deep State. Whatever that means.
3) History and current events. He said he's less interest now in politics, and I said: "Because all governments are now doing the same thing?" and he said yes. He then went into one of his long speeches, looking towards the window while I sat eating my breakfast and thinking of other things. Once I'd finished I said: Okay, you've gone into a rant; and he apologised.
He often says no one at all understands him. I feel the same way.
Focus on routine: Yes. The same basic routine has been in place ever since I've known him. Obviously it can be adapted, as long as he's in charge. He has a handful of recipes he's lived on for years. Lunch is at 1pm. Fish and chips with his mother every second Saturday. He doesn't like eating out (I do) but if we're going to eat out he has a preference for low-budget junk food. If we're eating out with other people and the venue was out of his hands, he finds the restaurant's online menu to decide what he's going to have, and used to want me to do the same. Now he knows better.
Our best compromise is Italian restaurants where he will always have their vegetarian pizza and I'll look at the menu when we get there.
empathy: He assures me he feels the whole world's pain as well as when there's a specific issue with someone he actually knows. It's just that he hasn't a clue what to say (and often blurts out something that makes people feel worse) nor does he know how to arrange his face. I have to believe he really does care but I'm missing conversation with women friends or empathic males.
motor impairment: I frequently call him a robot, but I break things more often than he does. He did break our TV a couple of weeks ago. I can't remember what he was trying to do at the time, but within a couple of hours he was doing set-up on a new TV and had unmanifested the broken one.
meltdowns: not as frequent as they used to be. I think that's my influence, aka nagging, vicious verbal denunciations, and leaving the room. That takes it out of me, as well. He had a tantrum in a post office when he couldn't understand what the masked teller was saying. (Mask mandates have been tough on deaf people.) I was forced to step in, and people were muttering horrible things about him as we made a hasty exit.
mimicry and degree of social capability: yes, I can see attempts to mimic appropriate behaviours, but again, there's a robotic and uncertain way about it. The day we married he produced four "mates" from his schooldays. 1) I'd met once or twice before. Husband visits him every Friday evening without fail, returning in the wee hours. Both men have tried to create a friendship between me and the other guy's girlfriend. Our goings-out as a foursome usually end in disaster. 2) makes an appearance when he's short of cash. He's a sweet guy but we haven't seen him since we became the nouveau poor ourselves. 3) what an backside. I've met him only twice and in his mid-50s he still thinks he's God's gift to women. I do like his on-again off-again girlfriend and recently had a delightful one-on-one with her, but that's off-topic. 4) not seen by me since our wedding nearly 16 years ago. On the surface he's a normal family man, but before the coronahoax started up he regularly played Saturday nights with a band at a particular local venue. Husband used to go along "to catch up with my friends". I went once at my own insistence long ago. After that I wasn't invited, nor did I want to go.

Very long post, but I'm interested to read any response you can make.