I'm having trouble with transference

Dreamlife wrote:Hello,


My mentor is great , but I would like to hear some suggestions from other practitioners on how they handle it.

Thank you

I would suggest you remain professional following the guidelines - this always take care of the technicalities.
Also empathise with each client as an individual. Not as in 'your clients ..a group of ppl whom you treat' And then signing off will work out just right. After all its okay for them to really really like you. Its a normal reaction toward someone who as helped

Thank you for your reply Ella,

I am mindful of my counter-transference and I am working through it with feedback from my mentor as well as keeping a diary.

I have 2 people in mind that I am having the "problem" with.

The first person is a married mother of 2, who is struggling with the loss of here 2nd child.

The second person is a war veteran with severe PTSD. and who also has related substance abuse disorder

I don't know why these 2 are more challenging than the others,,
I just cant seem to shake off there energy after their sessions have finished.

The upside is that the mother is making progress, but the veteran is still struggling

Dreamlife wrote:
I am mindful of my counter-transference and I am working through it with feedback from my mentor as well as keeping a diary.

ahh! 'counter transference' that old bug bear. May I ask -

a. why do you feel you are finding it difficult to remain objective?

b. how would you describe the individual 'energies'? are they two different types of energy or do you find they are much the same?

Oh & by the way welcome to what is I'm sure you will find an extremely interesting & meaningful career

Hi Ellla,
Thank you for the welcome... I am very excited to embark on my new journey..


a. why do you feel you are finding it difficult to remain objective? ... I think I am objective, I mean I am following the steps and guidance that I am receiving, Its just that I am really getting 'sucked in" to their stories.. and I guess their lives

b. how would you describe the individual 'energies'? are they two different types of energy or do you find they are much the same?
Their energy is very different from one another but very intense... I don't know how else to explain it.

Thanks for your help

Dreamlife wrote:Hi Ellla,
Thank you for the welcome... I am very excited to embark on my new journey..

hello Dreamlife

Its just that I am really getting 'sucked in" to their stories.. and I guess their lives

Whilst in the early days you will find this a little disconcerting - its really nothing at all to worry about - its quite natural you will feel sucked in ..you are becoming Empathic a necessary quality for every good therapist.

You are at the beginning of a journey where you will understand that every deep and meaningful experience you have with each individual client becomes a lesson learned. In so many different way.
As well as this its ultra important that at the end of each session - You learn how to close down 'proper' ...& THEN begin an objective analysis on what you have 'just' learned from your client. I'm sure your mentor will have taught you this discipline already.

Their energy is very different from one another but very intense... I don't know how else to explain it.

ah yes you will come to find that an individuals energy is as important when it comes to making a correct diagnosis as is their verbal omission's and any clinical information you have been given . I smiled when wrote aside from it being intense "you dont yet know how to describe it"

Well I thought I'd try asking what exactly it is that you are tapping into - But the truth is again.. you are still a fledging. So interpreting energy is still very new.

As time goes you become familiar with Consultation Clients & Casework and you WILL learn how to interpret an individuals 'energy' know exacting what it means to the client & so knowing immediately how this should influence your input.

Understanding a clients energy is invaluable . And soon enough for your being able to this will become second nature.

Can I just add something on energy. I am currently just out of therapy with a therapist who oozed sexual energy which I (stupidly) enjoyed for far too long. I became really addicted to the high I was on in his charming company to the point I felt like I was in a completely artifical bubble. This bubble has since burst the 'energy' stopped and I have been left reeling.
All my instincts to leave were completely overridden by my own 'greed' for the good feelings. Now I'm flat on my backside and having to start again with another therapist with now a new set of problems. It took a lot to get out as I stayed in the hope that the energy would get turned back on.... what a fool I've been.

wannagetbetta wrote:Can I just add something on energy. I am currently just out of therapy with a therapist who oozed sexual energy which I (stupidly) enjoyed for far too long. I became really addicted to the high I was on in his charming company to the point I felt like I was in a completely artifical bubble. This bubble has since burst the 'energy' stopped and I have been left reeling.
All my instincts to leave were completely overridden by my own 'greed' for the good feelings. Now I'm flat on my backside and having to start again with another therapist with now a new set of problems. It took a lot to get out as I stayed in the hope that the energy would get turned back on.... what a fool I've been.

aww! how awful.. & he didn't realise? so much for his energy receptors.

wannagetbetta wrote:Can I just add something on energy. I am currently just out of therapy with a therapist who oozed sexual energy which I (stupidly) enjoyed for far too long. I became really addicted to the high I was on in his charming company to the point I felt like I was in a completely artifical bubble. This bubble has since burst the 'energy' stopped and I have been left reeling.
All my instincts to leave were completely overridden by my own 'greed' for the good feelings. Now I'm flat on my backside and having to start again with another therapist with now a new set of problems. It took a lot to get out as I stayed in the hope that the energy would get turned back on.... what a fool I've been.

That is really horrible... I'm sorry to hear that. Hows it going with your new therapist?

Its just that I am really getting 'sucked in" to their stories.. and I guess their lives

I remember in my training, we were taught about "person centred therapy" - the basics if you do not know about PCT is that you positively HAVE to have empathy for the client. You need to see the clients life as if you are viewing it through your own eyes. So as Ella said, don't worry too much about the fact that you are drawn into their 'story'. The fact is, you are being an effective counsellor if you understand it entirely from their perspective.
The only issue that can arise is that you become so entrenched that you think about how sad or how angry or how frustrated they feel and it becomes how YOU feel. But you already recognise this happening and so you are already aware that it's not something you want to be allowing to happen! It sounds to me like you are becoming a very conscientious therapist!

I remember I saw a therapist once who talked about having an "unconditional positive regard" for her patients, which I try to have with my patients, too. Of course there will be patients you have negative counter-transference reactions with, but if you're able to see and focus on the positive elements of the person's personality, you're much more likely to have an alliance with them and be able to help them. I think it's hard to help a patient in a meaningful way if it's obvious you don't really like them.

Hello everyone,
I'm back. Thank you for all of your comments.. especially Ellla.

I managed to muddle my way through my first work placement but I really need to get a handle on the energy I feel in the sessions (It really effects me).

Now on to my question.
Existential Counselling...... what are you thoughts???

A romantic ideal of a theory used in counselling
or
A practical solution to peoples problems.

and has anyone used this type of counselling for serious mental illness?

All comments greatly appreciated.

Dreamlife wrote:Hello everyone,
I'm back. Thank you for all of your comments.. especially Ellla.

your welcome!

Now on to my question.
Existential Counselling...... what are you thoughts???

A romantic ideal of a theory used in counselling
or
A practical solution to peoples problems.

and has anyone used this type of counselling for serious mental illness?

"Existential Counselling" is therapy which I advocate 100%. I have used it many times myself I believe it works because we are able to take an holistic 'individual' approach to treating the client rather than a standard 'clinical' which personally was not the reason I choose psychotherapy, as a career.
When you ask can it be used for treating a serious mental illness the ans is both Yes & No Because you must keep in mind that there are many types of psychosis and not all can be cured ...or managed even by any "one treatment".

However what I have found interesting is - while Existential Therapy works on many different levels ( according to the individual you are treating ) I find it tends to more successful with clients who have a moderate to higher level of intelligence. More use is made of the information which transpires I guess.