Went Out With a Bang

Jumpy wrote:I have always had an extreme nervousness about public speaking and I have felt that at some point I would have to deal with it and confront it. I just didn't expect to do it in such a spectacular function.

Yesterday at a conference the speaker all of a sudden asked me to come up and speak in front of 130 people. I had no warning nor preparation for this so it came as a surprise. I went up and immediately started sweating, flush face, dry mouth.....I looked at the crowd, got two words out and froze. I tried to recover and babbled a few more times before apologizing and I left the stage.

I am up at four am now still mortified and know that I will forever be known as "that guy". What a disaster.....

I'm looking at taking some courses and trying to overcome this huge obstacle but emotionally I'm struggling.

Overcome your nervousness and practice public speaking daily if possible because that is the only way that you can have confidence and courage when speaking in public...

Hi Jumpy.

I honestly feel courses are one of the biggest mistakes people can make in improving their public speaking. Public speaking is a very personal, very intimate exchange, and each person brings such a unique range of strengths and challenges to the table, and is trying to learn for such different reasons, that reaching for a "one size fits all" solution isn't something that I've seen have a lot of success.

Conversely, I'd also probably recommend against toastmasters. While it's great in theory, the actual amount of time you get to speak at any given function is extremely limited, and many of the groups I've met with get stuck between conflicting incentives--your desire to improve, and the fear that being direct and honest in the areas you need to improve in might be too harsh and scare you away.

Do you have any sample recordings of yourself performing? If not, would you feel comfortable making one? I would be more than willing to take a look at a mock up and work with you back and forth on ideas and techniques that might work best for you. Feel free to pm me if you're interested!

Hi Jumpy

It's hardly surprising that you struggled when pounced upon to speak to 130 people without any warning or preparation! When you consider that the fear of public speaking is ranked as the highest fear, you will find that most people would struggle in that situation. So first of all, instead of being mortified that you didn't say anything, congratulate yourself for standing up in the first place - many would have simply refused.

Speaking in front of large audiences is a skill and has to be learned. Some courses can do it for you - it depends on how good they are. I rather think though that learning more gently over time is better. Start with small, friendly audiences and work up from there. I have to disagree with the comment about not bothering with Toastmasters. Toastmasters can be a brilliant place to learn gradually - the best idea is to go along to a meeting and see what you think - only you can decide.

Take heart - lots of people start where you are and end up being confident and confident speakers.

Good luck
Tina

Being placed in that position when you have no public speaking experience is the greatest perceived threat to your very existence that you could ever receive.

And I want you to realise that you didn’t die!

You are still here!

That means that there is great hope for you.

Hi Jumpy
I think it has been said above.. you didn't die.... you survived. Consider that the worst that can ever happen..its all up from here. Just imagine people are thinking that you are that 'guy' ... the one who actually did stand up and speak... most of them are probably thinking " thank heavens it wasn't me he asked to get up and speak!!"

Try toastmasters for yourself... only you can see if its a right fit

Hi Jumpy

Now the next step for you is to take a tiny step in the direction you want.

For example:

Have a conversation with a single person and be aware that you can actually put words together and that the other person is listening.

Jumpy wrote:I have always had an extreme nervousness about public speaking and I have felt that at some point I would have to deal with it and confront it. I just didn't expect to do it in such a spectacular function.

Yesterday at a conference the speaker all of a sudden asked me to come up and speak in front of 130 people. I had no warning nor preparation for this so it came as a surprise. I went up and immediately started sweating, flush face, dry mouth.....I looked at the crowd, got two words out and froze. I tried to recover and babbled a few more times before apologizing and I left the stage.

I am up at four am now still mortified and know that I will forever be known as "that guy". What a disaster.....

I'm looking at taking some courses and trying to overcome this huge obstacle but emotionally I'm struggling.

Reactions like that are normal when you speak on stage to many people but with enough practice and experience you will slowly get comfortable and all those that make yu uneasy will go away...

Thanks so much for all the responses. I've realized that this is just part of the journey of self discovery. I went looking for a cure but I've realized that the cure has to come from within. I've already had discussions with the person that asked me to get up, to speak at next year's conference. The funny thing is the thought of doing so doesn't overwhelm me. I know that I will have to know the presentation inside out and backwards and forwards. Then I can work on the impromptu speaking. I have a small presentation in front of 30-50 people in January and I'm working on my fear and getting prepped for it. That will be a tough one because we are presenting a contentious issue and it will not be a receptive crowd.....just part of the journey......

Curious - how did your presentation go in January?

Someone recommended acting classes to overcome nerves when presenting. Not taken any classes yet but still thinking about trying this out.