Trying to hide behind a fake liking of food.

I think that it's good that you are aware enough of your problem to fit in - however instead of persisting in this miserable state, maybe you could attempt to overcome your issues?

In many cases, eating disorders stem from a "poor self image". You may not feel like you deserve attention or you feel like you are unworthy of love or affection.

Other times, it stems from a self-loathing, though that is often brought on by abuse.

Just a suggestion - I don't mean to be pushy.

Baby,

I knew an alcoholic who used to go to pubs and buy drinks for other people, while never touching alcohol himself. I don't know how relevent this is to your post, but it seems somehow connected?

Alex.

Thank you for you kind responses to my question~
I don't think I could 'overcome' this sort of problem. I've never had the slim body frame, I have broad shoulders making me look very wide and I dance so simply eating whatever you want isn't exactly helpful, I'm also afraid of having a menstrual cycle (I'm not sure if it was the reason I started restricting food, but find that I'm trying to restrict my food in order not to get one). But I started not chewing and spitting my food out, so I guess you can say that's some change.

Rather than explain the medical side of what you're doing to yourself, I have to say that it's important for you to learn to accept yourself and what you are.

None of us is perfect. You must realize that you have unrealistic expectations of yourself because of society.

Baby The Stars wrote:Thank you for you kind responses to my question~
I don't think I could 'overcome' this sort of problem. I've never had the slim body frame, I have broad shoulders making me look very wide and I dance so simply eating whatever you want isn't exactly helpful, I'm also afraid of having a menstrual cycle (I'm not sure if it was the reason I started restricting food, but find that I'm trying to restrict my food in order not to get one). But I started not chewing and spitting my food out, so I guess you can say that's some change.

Baby,

Sorry, I didn't understand your situation. I think that avoiding/not having a menstrual cycle is a key symptom of anorexia, and this illness can be a dangerous one.

We have a friend who is in her mid thirties and she has had anorexia for a long time. It is very hard to help her because she won't admit how unwell she is. I do know that it is not possible to persuade a person who is in the grip of this illness to eat differently, so I won't patronise you.

I hope it gets easier for you, and please stick around and share with us. There are many of us here that have illnesses that we have battled, sometimes winning and sometimes not doing so well. We help each other as well as we can.

Alex.

Thank you for your help. In real life I haven't openly told people about my recording of body weight and dieting. I'm not really supported by people on the subject of taking therapy so the forum seems to be a place where questions can be answered~