4 eyes boiling water for a hr long slugfest with oatmeal

I have a eating disorder that developed out of the blue. I believe I was too hard on myself. It started out innocent and then I started to try to protect my image. I had true intentions. I was a boxer and I would keep my weight around 135 while training. I was dedicated. I learned a lot about nutrition and food labels. I would train daily eat healthy (up to 90 egg whites a week) stuff like that. I was always eating in some form or another. After a match, I decided to reward myself and ate till I couldn't breath. That was 13 years ago. I still over eat at times, but I let people see me do it. I'm 5'8 and 145 lbs. I can eat anything I want if I want and as much as I want. I can put 10lbs on in 2 weeks. I can also take'em off. I've weighed 175 lbs of bodybuilding muscle and fought at a lean 132lbs sometime later. Everyday is a small struggle to not over indulge. Once in a while is o.k.. When I put back to back nights of overeating together, I'm not focused and have to regroup. I do that through His power of redemption. I begin to focus on others and not myself. I'm more sympathitic towards others, wondering how strong is that chain that binds them.