Constantly aware...

Hi,

I had a panic attack about 18 months ago while on a packed over ground train from Liverpool Street to Chingford. It was awful and i didn't know what to do other than get out at the next stop. When i got out, i was too scared to get back on to the train, so decided to get a taxi ... but this seemed impossible as well; so i ended up walking home in a daze. I was very upset and my housemates, boyfriend and family did there best to console me out but i was a mess. I couldn't eat and lost the will to communicate. I tried to calm myself down and continue as normal but i was terrified.

On my first day back at college (the start of the second year of my MA at Saint Martins) - approximately a week after my panic attack, i had to get the train and was tearfully accompanied my a housemate but it nearly finished me off. Once in London, the tube was out of the question so i walked to Holborn armed with an A-Z. Once in college, things weren't much better. I couldn't concentrate and found it difficult to participate. This escalated to the point where i hardly went to college (in fact, i was signed off for the majoirty of the 1st term) and a lot of my friends began to get annoyed as they didn't understand how i felt which hurt and upset me. I lost a lot of weight and worried a lot of people, including myself. Even when visiting my parents i usually walked from Liverpool Street all the way to Paddington, where i would stand by the doors (i couldn't sit in the carriages amongst lots of people).

Anyway, after sometime i began to calm down, managed to relax a little around lots of people, and began to attend college again, although i found 'workshops and presentations' stressful, as i felt enclosed. I eventually caught up with my work though and graduated July 2003.

Since July, i've been a lot better than i was, although i am still very cautious of situations in find myself in. I have recently started my first graduate job and have moved to a new area and my worrys and anxietys have returned slightly (as i may at sometime have to travel to meet with clients with work colleagues). I just don't want to repeat what i have been through already but it concerns me greatly that it may happen.

I have thought about sourcing treatment and was relieved to find your website and see that i am not alone, as i feel like i have been.

Can you recomend any treatment?

Thanks