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What is the right way? Who says? Perhaps your way is the right way and the others is wrong! What makes us like people, what builds relationships, is the differences between us. Some of my favourite traits about my friends are the little odd things they have about them. Being different isn't bad, it ...

Hello, I agree with the previous answer of writing down what you like about yourself - but I would also extend this to writing down what you are grateful for. This can be tinythings or big things - a roof over your head, family, your pretty eyes, your ability to cook, whatever. Show gratitude and yo...

I used to be exceptionally shy and lack confidence, I started by making myself do small things. When I had severe depression, that was something as small as walking to the loacal shop and back. Then arranging to go to the cinema with some girls from school (cinema was easy as so little social intera...

I wonder if there is an underlying fear that if you excel at something you will stand out from the crowd and receive a lot more attention. Perhaps, not a fear of failure, but a fear of success? Tall poppy syndrome - those who rise above the crowd can attract jealousy, judgement, criticism and more a...

Perhaps you are more worried about becoming close to people - public speaking, talking to strangers lacks intimacy, which can be frightening. It means showing vulnerability, opening up parts of ourselves we are not perhaps particularly comfortable with, risking hurt, humiliation and rejection......n...

Yes, but you don't want to spend all you time living in the future, and not appraciating the present! Finding that balance between past (learning from experiences etc), present (enjoying this moment) and future (planning, goal setting, delayed gratification etc.) is finding real contentment, For mos...

Hello,

I think all of those issues are interlinked, and as you work on one area, the others will automatically improve - start with small things which put you outside of your comfort zone and move on from there.
This will help with all three issues:)

Best wishes,
Kate

Hi, I used to blush really badly and I know it is not a nice situation to be in. But candid is right - when you are able to let go and realise blushing doesn't actually matter too much, it will lessen. When you are blushing, do you feel more embarassed, try to avoid looking at people and want to hid...

Hello, I think they are inextricably linked, to be mentally tough, you must deal well with failure - to be mentally tough we need to be able to persevere no matter how adverse the circumstances.....and to do this, self confidence is required. But as well as self confidence, a massive belief that it ...

...or you may not be:) Firstly, I would say forget about a relationship for a while and concentrate on yourself. Low self confidence and self esteem can spiral downwards into depression and you need to start by reversing that cycle, bringing yourself up again and then you will be ready for a relatio...

Firstly you need to decide exactly what you want in a relationship. Describe the girl of your dreams, what does she do, what does she like, what makes her laugh, get really detailed. Then put yourself in her head, what does she want in a man? Descibe in detail the qualities she will look for. Then a...

Do you think you are ugly on the inside or the outside? Big difference, if you are beautiful on the inside and happy with yourself character wise, the external appearance will matter less. Yet if you feel ugly on the inside, don't like your personality, character and so on, that can be changed. Work...

Hello, I think you summed it up when you said 'a pattern runs in my head over and over....' A pattern is a bad habit - it is not you, or who you are, it is simply something which has become automatic because you have repeated it so many times. And it can be broken. The first step is to believe it ca...

Hello,

I am a big fan of meditation - it quells my internal chatter, clears my head, leaves me feeling refreshed, focused and calmer.
Over time it also increases happiness as you become more connected with yourself.

Even just 10 minutes a day has a huge impact!

Kate.

Hi jmtier, Firstly congratulations - having that desire to make changes is the first step in making them. I appreciate what you are saying about starting a new job with a new outlook, but bear in mind some of the changes you are going to make will be more gradual - so don't worry if you have a few g...