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It's been a while. It's been a hard few months ...got back into the way of smoking weed. It crept up on me but sure enough it finished up with my compulsive using. Overall though, lots of positive things. I've got my own space. a job. A car. Friends. Hobbies. And now Donna is back in my life. And I'...

I'm starting a record on here... I found it really helped when I stopped smoking weed... Just to have somewhere to vent and to have a log of where I've been. When I smoke cigarettes - i have less energy and motivation generally - i spend a lot of time wishing I didn't smoke - i feel dependent on nic...

It panics me a bit to feel so low again. It's coming in waves and I push it aside. Is that wise? Should I seek help? Is it just the blues? A normal-ish experience and one that just is. I think about suicide fairly often lately. Not like how I would do it. Just thinking, how it would be peaceful. How...

I would say that weight loss is more complex than simply going on a diet and exercising. I am not overweight myself, but I have struggled with other addictive behaviour and from listening to other people with this issue it sounds like it could be similar for some people. I think it's reasonable to c...

This is an outlet. Writing is an outlet. How can I tell anyone else that I feel like banging my head on a wall? Punching myself in the face? Just not being here. How can you reach out and ask for help? Who can I reach out to who would both understand and not be burdened by it? It feels to me, like n...

I went to a little music festival recently. It was with a bunch of people who I drum with. We were drinking a bit, not loads, mostly going to workshops and watching performances. I hadn't smelt any weed around until the last night, and I got cravings to the point of distraction. I'd been having a go...

I've been feeling low in mood. Creeping spiralling thoughts that I'm trying not to latch onto. I am yet to get exercise into my routine. I'm holding off on stopping smoking. I plan to see an NHS advisor because it will help with my quit attempt I am sure and prevent me from full relapse if I slip up...

Things have been going OK. I haven't smoked weed for about 9 months. My mood shifts don't feel as extreme as they did but I do feel a low level anxious and down feeling quite often. I think that doing more exercise and meditation will help so that is what I'm going to try. I'm going to stop smoking ...

Sometimes I feel like my moods are in sync with the weather. The rain and my tears fall down together. The trees and I are buffeted by the winds. I don't know if it's Paws or not. All I know is that since I moved away to live back at my parents house, to get away from my past chapter where I was not...

I'm on my way home from my grandparents Diamond wedding anniversary lunch. It was a really special day. I've been driving for about an hour towards my house. The cravings have struck. 'I owe my dealer money anyway. I might as well see him and just get a tens. That's nothing anyway, just a tiny bit. ...

Having had another 3 month or so stint of smoking heavily, I have now not smoked any pot for over a week. I've spent a long time reading through someone else's story on here, which has really inspired me to write more on here. To connect and share. Thank you Reckoning and everyone else who shares. I...

I think our emotions are what bind us together. I've been struggling with an addiction to cannabis, and depression. I'm 30 now and I feel to old to be relying on my parents. I felt so useless and pathetic and I was being so, so hard on myself to the point on losing control and hitting myself out of ...

Hi Reckoning, I hope this message finds you well. I have read your whole 3 pages of posts over the last couple of days. I am so grateful that you have had the commitment and strength to take the time to write so eloquently about your experiences. Thank you for sharing. I believe that you said at one...

Thank you Joe Bloggs for your encouragement. I have had a busy day, awoke much earlier than usual, got lots done, got back in contact with friends/family that I've been neglecting. Found half a smoked spliff in my car. Couldn't resist smoking it. And now, my guy has called me telling me he's put one...

When I have cannabis, I smoke it compulsively. Alone, in my car, in the rain, in the freezing cold, with borrowed money, prioritised above needing money for food, fuel, whatever. I am a cannabis addict. Today I smoked the last of my stash. Deleted my numbers. This is not my first attempt and up till...