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Update! Still attending CoDA meetings regularly. I made it to six months abstinence - no dating, no sex, no flirting. No nothing, basically. These 6 months have been a wonderful gift to myself. The 12 step programs are imperfect, but still very much worthwhile. Have made a few really good friends at...

Hi All Thanks for your replies. You've all asked what my goals are; what I hope to get from this discussion with my mother. Here goes... 1) I have a lot of survivor guilt over the fact I was kept, whereas my sister was abandoned. If I had some reliable information about my sister , and how her life ...

I'm seeking advice & ideas from the community. I want to talk to my Mum about something she has refused to talk about for as long as I can remember. My sister. My mum relinquished my sister for adoption over 30 years ago, when my sister was about 3 years old. This was because of my sister's inte...

Quote of the day:

"The cure for the pain is in the pain."

- Rumi

P.S. I had a life-changing experience at one of my fellowship groups. I can describe it without any identifying information, and it's worth sharing, so I will do so. A group member described their own history of abuse, and their history was toe-curlingly awful. One of the worst stories I've ever hea...

Continuing to attend CoDA and ACA. CoDA once a week, and ACA when I feel like it (usually once per fortnight). Getting lots of positive messages from the universe that I am on the right track. CoDA has been enormously helpful in getting me to this point. Positive messages from the universe/my higher...

On second thoughts, I still have more to give and receive with CoDA. simply getting wiser about how i do it, and how i allow myself to feel about it. Also, getting benefit from another fellowship, called ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families). it's helpful, too. I met a wise...

Have figured out the answer to my orginal question. Therapist#1 should have listened to me in 2010 when I raised the questions of narcissism & histrionic personality disorder in my family of origin. Because she so totally disregarded my suggestions, and because I considered her the "expert&...

Whoa! Can't take too much more of CoDA. The meetings are SO repetitive, reminds me of the monks from 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail.' And there's SO much pressure to do service! Argh. Life's too precious and short to get involved in their cult-like organisation. I've gone in, I've got the learning...

Yes. It is extremely common.

30-Oct-17 The book Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood is teaching me a great deal. Still going to CoDA meetings. At CoDA, I practice clear and simple speech. Going deep inside myself is painful, shaming and humiliating. And yet, I do it. Journalling, crying, stroking my velvet pillow, and drin...

23-Oct-17

In CoDA, I'm gradually learning...
- how to listen
- to be less judgemental (At age 34, lightbulb moment, I FINALLY get it)
- how to slow down & just be.

22-Oct-17

CoDA is useful. I highly recommend it.

Going to CoDA forces you to be humble. That has not traditionally been my speciality, but I am willing to learn and improve.

20-Oct-17
As part of my recovery, have made a promise to myself that I won't date or have sex for 12 months.

(Obviously, I am instead going to have LOADS of sex with myself.
Bought myself some beautiful new bedsheets and essential oils to celebrate. WOOT!)

20-Oct-17

Continuing to attend meetings and see benefits.