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I've been looking for help with the above and thought this article looked helpful.

It does not let me post the link.


psychologytoday. com

us/blog/in-it-together/201801/building-self-esteem-and-improving-relationships

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It's absolutely normal to desire a relationship. By what you've shared you've shown that you really value your friendship, but to think about that a bit more....he sounds like a good person to know, AND he has wanted to have you as a friend. So right off the bat I would say he values you too. Many p...

desperate788 wrote:You know my writing style is odd not like a normal person

What's normal?

In fact maybe this is very relevant to the OP.

We learn from others, especially growing up, but others make mistakes just as we do.

I hope i didnt sabatoge the thread No. Why would you think that? What you wrote was helpful. Perhaps that's something to ponder more off the thread unless or until theres something that helps or relates to this. @mute, I don't want to derail the thread either. Thank you for starting this with your ...

Is it because they have made a judgement about themselves that's overly harsh?

This has given me much to think about. Why do some people persist in actions which undermine or oppose self-care and self love?

Self love and self care is not hard to learn, i was clean and tidy my house even when i was severely mentally ill. Loving self comes naturally, mainly through achievements and successful moments. I am finding this thread so helpful. But I'm not sure I agree with you that they are not hard to learn ...

... there is something missing for me to move forward. I can tell you how I would move forward. I would focus on being 100% independent. This means that (1) I would be 100% selfish and (2) I would not have any expectations from anyone else. Next example, I'm alone and facing responsibilities and I ...

Hi Candid,

Thank you, that link was spot on!

You feel that you are being neglected/unappreciated? And you want to reduce your commitments/responsibilities, but that makes you feel selfish? It's not that, I did experience neglect growing up and have found that as an adult, it's impacted my relationships. The boundaries in the family were off. ...

Can anyone offer any advice for how to recover more quickly from neglect ? I was thinking in terms of how to notice my own needs and relate with others in a more balanced way for win win relationships. How to meet needs and recognise responsibilities without getting emotional baggage or being selfish?